Do you still feel Christmas?
As I previously wrote I’m not a Christian (not anymore), but nevermind.
Christmas comes with feelings.
You can feel it into music, lights, a movie, a candle… it speaks about joy.
The dark truth behind the lights, is Christmas can be very tough as a time of the year.
When you live alone, as I do, holidays can lead to depression, melancholy… using another word, Saudade.
Tonight there’s fog all around, and I see the shadow that water creates as the memories I hold dear in my heart about past Christmases:
fog fades as they do,
it dissolves into tiny drops as the laughs I heard as a child, surrounded by my whole family.
Growing up means that often we have to let go of the magic that lives in our eyes as kids: the wonder, hope…but as an artist, I feel blessed once again.
Years ago I sang at every Christmas, directing a choir, giving people a touch of magic as every musician does; right now all I have are these words with no touch of music.
In the past two years I found God again, or better I was found: a different God, which I call Universe.
Universe spreads into infinite, travels into black holes we still don’t understand.
Tonight, or today (depending on your time zone) I pray for you: yes, you who are reading me.
May you be blessed by love even when you can’t feel it, may it find you and enlighten you, may it hug you and hold you close with these humble words of mine.
If you’re struggling, if you feel alone, remember that nothing lasts forever and even your feelings won’t.
Love yourself tonight, even if no one is around you.
Breathe deeply and touch your stomach, feel the air filling your lungs and heart.
I’m with you even if I don’t know you, I’m smiling at you even if you can’t see me, I’m looking at you with love and I hope I can reach you somehow and show you there’s always a new beginning after every end, even if it doesn’t seem real at all.
Feel my strength if you feel weak, feel me fighting for you if you feel threatened or abandoned, feel my courage and make it yours. Steal it, with my blessing.
Tomorrow the fog will maybe disappear and dawn will be.
But for tonight,
just tonight
believe in magic dear,
believe we are a United Specie;
believe we can rise again after this darkness as a phoenix,
believe it’s not over yet;
believe hope will find us again
and believe you are loved.
If you feel alone or struggling, feel free to write me. I’ll answer you as soon as I see your message, and I’ll hold your hand until you let me.
With love,
Dorothy
